Today at midnight I talked to a friend for the first time really clearly about my endometriosis and I had to admit to myself, that I am definitely slacking off. I know , that health comes first and I also know, that everything that I do,can have direct consequences, but somehow I think I am now in a big crises and I do not know,how to find a solution too all aspects of my problem. On the one hand, I want to finish up with my last operation, but on the other hand I am scared what will come afterward.
I am ashemed of myself...really...I do not know how to express it differently. I have read my old blog from the year 2004 and I just can say, that I was a totally other person. It was hard for me to believe, that I have worte all the stuff, that I have found there. My whole thinking, my character and my way of life has completely changed. I always had the opinion, that the character of a person is unchangeable. But now I see, that it is absolutely not true.
It is for me unbelievable, how happy, carefree and young I was.
I was a vital , open minded, honest, a little bit wild and really, really eloquent girl.
The question is now: Where did this girl go? Did she leave the scene or is she still hiding somewhere in the depths of my soul?
Well, I think, it is time to find out....
Let´s rock´and roll!!!
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